Has the credit crunch disappeared overnight? Has the threat of Islamic terrorism receded to the point where it is no longer realistic? Have our energy concerns suddenly been alleviated by the discovery of some source of free, everlasting power? Has the knife culture which has seen the slaughter of young men and children on our streets evaporated?
No - but don't let those things get in the way of the real issues of today. Namely, John Sergeant on Strictly Come Dancing.
The Telegraph's comment section devotes no fewer than four items to the portly political commentator's hoofing on the reality show today. In God's name why? I have to admit that I haven't actually bothered to read them and they may actually be metaphorical - perhaps somehow demonstrating that John Sergeant's survival on SCD is somehow indicative of how western civilization can win the war on terror .... but I doubt it.
I find this sort of tabloid nonsense in the comment section of what used to be a serious newspaper very depressing. If I wanted to read this sort of garbage I'd go to the Sun or Star - but from the Telegraph I want proper comment about proper issues - not celebrity gossip and tittle tattle.
I still turn to the Telegraph website in the hope that I'll find it has gone back to its roots. I keep hoping that I'll stumble across a new Steyn, O'Rourke or Dalrymple. I keep my fingers crossed that the former champion of the conservative way will rediscover what conservatism is all about - and I keep getting disappointed.
The trouble is, The Telegraph is the only proper newspaper us right wingers have. There isn't any other newspaper which bothers to even pretend to be conservative and with the Telegraph sliding inexorably towards the left the future for conservative journalism in this country is bleak.
I can't believe that there isn't a demand for it. Conservative media in the USA flourishes - conservative talk radio dominates the genre over there even if the main newspapers all follow the liberal line, but over here conservatism in the media is dying a slow lingering death.
I know the Mail and Express are, supposedly, conservative - but I've never really found either of those particularly satisfying. They are, however, successful - which makes me wonder why it is that the conservative broadsheets have abandoned the right. The Telegraph should be aware of the fact that progressive liberal newspaper market is already over saturated - so why try and move in on it?
I can only think that the broadsheets - the main business of which is political news and comment - reflect our political system. And as that is dominated entirely by the liberal left it is therefore not surprising that every one of them should drift toward the ideology of the party they support. The Telegraph is Conservative, not conservative, and therefore gravitates towards the Cameronian brand of conservatism which, as most of us are aware, is just progressive liberalism with a posh accent.
Us conservatives need a proper conservative newspaper. The market is crying out for one, but there is nothing to fill the gap. Until something comes along the British right wing will have to rely on the blogosphere.