Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen

It's comforting to know - in a way - that Britain isn't the only nation having problems with street crime in its capital city.

Violence, vandalism and 30 shootings on the streets of Copenhagen this year, has prompted Ritt Bjerregaard, the city’s lady mayor, to call on the government to set up a national fight against street crime.

All sounds terribly familiar, doesn't it - as does the response.

Copenhagen Council continues its crime prevention efforts, including opening more youth clubs in problem areas.

Yep - that'll do it. Amazing how a game of ping pong can moderate even the most prolific young offender. But maybe that won't be enough?

Per Larsen, the Copenhagen chief of police, said he supported more policing the streets in an effort to cut down violent crime.

Good for you, Per! Hang on, though - as chief of police, isn't that your job anyway? So what measures is he taking?

'We, like Ritt, are tired of the shootings in the city. We do what we can, and recently have decided to set up CCTV cameras in many areas of Copenhagen, and also created search zones for bikers.'

Not half as tired as the poor sods who've stopped a packet. Bikers, eh? Well, at least they have the sense to target specific groups rather than implement measures to stop and search little old ladies or mums and dads with their kids in tow. I guess bikers are behind the rise in crime?

The latest street troubles saw almost 100 young immigrants take to Jægersborggade street in the Nørrebro district of Copenhagen Sunday night. In the space of five minutes they smashed cars and shop windows in the well-known biker area.

Roaming gangs of "immigrants" attacking "biker areas" - and who do they target?

Europe is finished.